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  • Writer's pictureNoah
    • Dec 17, 2023
    • 3 min read

The 2023 Annual DownWithTyranny List Of Gifts For Republicans And Other Nazis, Pt. 8

Books And Barbies, Edition 2



by Noah


Continuing in a mode of 2023 was the year of Barbies and Book Banning, here's Edition 2 of the theme. 


1. The Chris Christie Barbie Style Makeover! - I'm from New Jersey and I've lived in New York City for 40+ years so I've witnessed former NJ Governor Christie in action for decades. There's nothing credible about the man. Right now, he's up there on the Nazi Party debate stage trying to fool us into thinking he's anti-Trump and the media hacks are playing right along but not me. You see, that's because I actually have some brain cells left, I'm not being threatened by the advertisers, and most importantly, I remember when Christie was heading up Atlantic City pal Traitor Don's transition team after Traitor Don won in 2016 with the help of Vlad Putin's troll and oligarch team. Vlad Putin: The Republican Party's Best Friend, Owner, and Operator.


So there he is. Yeah, Chris Christie is doing a makeover. See him lounging there in his Barbie Retro Home as he uses the primary season as part of an effort to hide the fact that he's a traitor to this country, not all unlike Trump is. Every few weeks, he's up on that Grand Old Nazi Party debate stage with two asylum escapees named Ramaswarmy and DeSantis and Nikki Haley who stands up there while no doubt wearing her Confederate Flag underwear as she tries to present herself as some sort of "milder, gentler" Trumpnazi and zombies of the so-called journalism biz call her a "moderate." Jesus FG Christ!


Which of the four is the worst? Right this second, I don't know but what I can tell you is that Chris Christie is the biggest lying sack of shit. He's a fully-loaded colostomy bag in shoes. 



2. The Barbie Donnie Trump Dreamhouse! - Yes! Just to be fair! And you know I'm always fair! Traitor Donnie gets a special Barbie home, too, and his comes with bars. I'm being very generous here. After all, we all know he should be put in a Barbie Mausoleum immediately after being put up against a hot pink plastic wall and shot by a bunch of Ken Dolls in uniform and that day should be declared a National Holiday. Oh, would I love to see that! Festive!!!!!




3. It's a cookbook! You bet! It's Baking With Jewish Space Lasers by Marjorie Traitor Greene!!! Lots of big eatin' goin' on for the holidays and one of America's scummiest 3-toed traitors ever has come through with what looks to be a whole mess o' southern worm filled recipes. And, It's Q approved! Pardon me, but does that porkish critter on Marjorie's platter look a lot like "Ted" Cruz to you? Sure does to me. Man, I hope so! Please Marjorie, carve off a hunk of that and send it to me! There's a nice doggie in my neighborhood that looks like he could use a good meal!

 




4. And Speaking of "Ted" Cruz, how about the Barbie "Ted" Cruz MAGA Podcaster Doll? If you have a crazy Nazi uncle in Texas, he's sure to want this! Imagine how happy your uncle will be as he hears "Ted" recite his fave verses from "Green Eggs And Ham." Be sure to get this doll before he flees the country again and leaves the family dog alone in his freezing house like he did a few years ago. 



5. Closing (for today) with a book: The Attack Of The Giant Baby! I know what you're thinking. You're thinking why does Noah think republicans read books. But, the truth is, some small number of them do and if they see a picture of the Diaper Don on the cover you know they'll at least awkwardly thumb through it so they can look for other pictures of their beloved Orange Jesus. Besides, if they can't read at all, every book comes in audiobook form now. So go ahead, give 'em this book! They'll be so enamored of it just from the cover picture of their guy ripping up things that they'll never get what it's all really about anyway. By the way, there's an added bonus of the audiobook, too: Every minute your giftee spends listening to the audiobook is one less minute that he, she, or whatever is spending listening to some crackpot douchebag conservative radio talk show freak. 



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