Books And Barbies, Edition 1
by Noah Among other pluses and minuses, 2023 was the Year Of Barbie, so why not give the gift of Barbie to some unsuspecting Republican nutjob and let them know that not all dolls in their household need be the blow-up kind. 2023 was also the year that Republicans went whole hog, as it were, into banning books. Gone are the days of merely strolling into bookstores and libraries to tear out pages their tiny, mal-developed minds find objectionable. No, it's all about banning the books; the more the merrier. Next year or certainly by 2025, they'll be burning books and then whole book stores because well, that's where the fascist mindset always goes. But hey, to meanwhile satisfy the inner Nazi that all Republicans will go to their graves nurturing, I've also come up with some nice books they might enjoy, or not. Here ya go! 1. The Lauren Boebert BoBo Barbie - Whoever is the Chairbozo of the Colorado Republican Party, they must be very proud. They found Boebert, decided she was the best they had to offer, put her up for election, and the locals voted (twice!) to send her to Washington to be what they no doubt regard as their perfect representative. Genius! She is them and they are her. In Congress, she can always be found sitting next to Flor-i=duh's Matt Gaetz because he thinks she's only 14.
2. Speaking of geniuses, how about a reprint of Gym Jordan's Favorite comic book. Trust me you need to go with the reprint. you don't want a copy Gym has "handled."
3. Grandpa Is Golfing by Ivanka Trump - Do you ever worry what Trump's grandchildren might think if "grandpa just don't come around" anymore? I don't. In fact, I don't think I could care less. The best I can hope for is that Ivanka's kids don't turn out to be total psychos like the rest of the family. Fat chance. But, don't you worry about the evil brood that Jared and Ivanka managed to conjure up or purchase on the black market. Ivanka can read to them from her book pictured below, or more likely the nanny can. Hell, in a just world, Ivanka would be away "golfing," too. Actually, I wish the book we're talking about here was just one of a series along with "Noah Takes Grandpa Shark Fishing" and "Grandpa's Been Abducted By Aliens."
4. The Donald Trump Princess Barbie - Yes, as with #3 above, we'd have to assume that, by some miracle of righteous justice, Traitor Don actually ends up with a lengthy stay in a federal prison getting the crap kicked out of him every day. What was that about America being a place where dreams come true every day? Meanwhile, take solace in the fact that, jail to the chief or not, the Diaper Don will never have another day of peace in his life. To that end, I would like to suggest that every decent American send Trump a bar of soap to his tacky Mar-a-Lago abode for Christmas along with a note that he should start practicing the art of not dropping it. Do it today. In fact, do it and just keep doing it. Bury him in bars of soap!
5. One last thing for today: How about a nice picture of what Ivanka might look like as a Barbie? Hell, she's carrying around enough artificial materials to actually be a Barbie. Tell me she doesn't look like one. Ditto, her husband Ken, er, a, Jared.
