by Noah
You can put anything on a t-shirt (at least for now), but only certain people fit certain T-shirts. Still, sometimes I think the shirt fits and sometimes I like to mix it up a bit, if only to dish out some mockery and cause some well deserved discomfort and irritation. For this list, I'll forgo the traditional Republican "I'd Rather Live In Russia" and "Grab My Pussy" garb. Gotta keep it focused and fresh!
Here be some choices for the Republikooks that sully your life just by being in it:
1. A Taylor Swift T-Shirt! (See Above!) Why not? The Nazis hate her now! She gives 6 figure checks to local food banks in every town she plays in! "Damn her! She's feeding the poor! That's Socialism, or something!!!" Maybe even worse, she tells her fans to register to vote and they do! How downright un-American of them! How dare they! Yep, to republikooks everywhere Taylor's fans are a threat and must be Marxists, Communists, Socialists, heathens, and satanic fetus eaters, too! The Repugs are even complaining that she's dating an NFL player."She's ruined football!!!!!"
So, yeah. Send them a bigly packet of sequins, too.
2. A Proud Boy Shirt! - A winner for any republican for sure! If you doubt that, just ask yourself why Traitor Don leads the polls for their choice of GOP candidate for 2024 and ever after. Best thing about this one is that you don't have to worry about your giftee already having this one because they've probably already worn out their first 2 or 3! Plus, they probably need one in a bigger size by now. Just to be safe, go with the XXL.
3. An Auschwitz T-shirt? This one's a moldy oldie one (literally) for any of the 74,000,000 Trump voters out there, and we mean, out there! Does your giftee already have one? No doubt the answer is yes but the same conditions that apply to the possession of a Proud Boys shirt apply to this one. Besides, what's a good republican to wear the next time they wanna storm the Capitol Building and beat some cops to death? Ships with a retractable sharpened flagpole and a choice of Swastika Flag or Trump Forever flag.
4. A Science T-shirt. - It's Confuse-A-Repug time! And nothing confuses a Republikook like telling them about this new thing called science. Go ahead, try it out. Just be ready for the howling and the screams!
5. The God Will Be My Mask T-Shirt! - On the one hand, it's a tiny bit sad that the percentage of anti-mask and anti-vaccine people who died at the height of COVID is bigger than the percentage of deaths among people who took the precaution of getting vaccinated and wearing a mask but it did affect the vote totals in some locations enough to adversely affect Republican candidates. On the flipside of that of course is the fact that those who don't take the precautions make themselves incubators of more and more variants of the virus, thus slowing down progress for all of us in the fight against it. How Republican is that!!! Pure sociopathy! Yep, Republicans have carved out a nice little niche of being the Pro-Plague Party for themselves. Republicans have never met a way of causing death and human misery that they wouldn't or couldn't get behind!
