by Noah
Dateline Washington DC:
Spring 2023 began yesterday. That means that, in the Republican mind hive, it's official! It's Springtime for Hitler, and all that aspire to continue his mission! To that end, Republican National Committee Chairfuehrer Ronna Romney McDaniel announced a brand new line of red hats yesterday afternoon. They can be seen above. Says Frau McDaniel:
We've come to the point where we, as a party, feel that the simple "Make America Great Again" hat just doesn't go far enough. That slogan fell as short as our peaceful attempted tourist visit to the Capitol Building. We felt that we needed to offer something in addition and so we have. You might say, we have diversified! The variety of hats we are now offering reflects that diversification, free speech Republican style, and, what we call freedom of choice! We are nothing if not pro-choice! Freedoms! Liberty! All money raised from the sale of our new hats will go to our slates of fine nazi, er, a, republican candidates. Not only that, but some of the funds will be used to set up defense funds for FOX News hosts and to help our beloved Alex Jones to continue shifting his fortune to friends and family so no one else can get their hands on it even if the courts have awarded it to certain other annoying parties.
After being pressed, Frau McDaniel also stated that the GOP is earmarking some funds for a possible advertising campaign that will be designed to convince the American people that "mass shootings should be regarded as a form of free speech."