by Noah
Who gives a fuck about Christmas stuff and decoration?
-Flotus Grumpus Trumpus, expressing her inner child thoughts about Christmas.
Black Friday is here and who has more black thoughts than Melania, aka Queen Melanoma, herself. On the one hand, you could say you understand. Who wouldn't plunge into a world of pain and darkness if they were married to Donnie Psycho. She must have some really gross memories. Try not to think of what they must be.
On the other hand, Queen Melanoma knew what she was signing up for and willingly participated in her moments of misery. Was it worth it, Melania? No amount of showers will ever wash those little orange paw prints off your ass.
So, there you are, Melania, cursing Christmas; cursing the great day of joy. Cursing Christmas and all it's symbols of love and happiness and giving. What a cruel fate that you have been put in charge of the White House Christmas displays. Did you know that came with your horrible job?
Here you are Ms. Silicon Flotus. Here you are. You might as well burn all your Christmas trees. Your gooey orange hubby is hellbent on burning down the entire country, so why not join him. After all, you don't really care, do you? I can see you doing it. You don't even need matches. You look pissed off enough, fake smile and all. It's in the eyes, Melania. We see you. Ever see that movie "Firestarter?" I bet you see yourself in a sequel. I'm sure Drew Barrymore could play you as an all grown up Charlie McGee. Don't get too close to the flames!
Meanwhile, force that smile! Force that smile! Force that smile!