Gift Ideas For Republicans, 2025, Part 2

Toys For Nazi Youth!

by Noah

1. The Trump Baby Action Figure! - See above! Why not send a message to any youthful Nazi that tells them exactly how you see them; whiny little bitches with sub-human mental development. Perfect. while you're at it, why not do a little something to make it even more realistic. Next, give them a nice little Trump stocking stuffer that's almost like being there!

2. The Art Of The Pin! - What kid doesn't like to play with little stuffed animals and yeah, clearly Trump is an animal and Republicans of all ages are inclined to torture animals so this is a natural! Don't try to explain voodoo to them though. That's a "brown people" thing, especially for those that they claim are eating our cats and dogs. Just tell them to keep sticking the little Trump doll with the pins and pray there's something to it. Yes, make voodoo great again!

3. The Trump Taco Taco Man - Teach a young Nazi to sing and dance. Easy! Just show them a clip of Trump doing his patented double hand job dance and sing along! What youngster doesn't like to dance and sing all over the place? The makers of this toy are not, under any circumstances, responsible if this toy turns your kid gay. It just doesn't work that way. How many more decades do we have to tell you this.

4. The Lauren Boebert "Action" Figure! - Speaking of handies, is the young Nazi you know a teenager? If so, then the Lauren Boebert "Action" Figure may be the perfect gift for them! They know where the action is and they know Ms. Boebert knows too! Just please warn them that playing with this one in public even if that's their predilection is not a good idea unless they're at some sort of Republican dinner party or something. And don't worry about running out of the "Dr. Tuggs Gentleman's Lotion." You can call or write Rep. Boebert at her office to request whatever amount you need. If she doesn't answer the phone, call Speaker Johnson and ask him for some from the tanker truck parked outside his son's window.

5. The PEDO Not LEGO Trump! - Guaranteed 100% plastic! This one's the new Tickle Me Elmo for Republicans everywhere. Believe me. That I can tell you. I hear the White House has already cornered the market on these and they're giving them out wrapped in Top Secret documents. Write the White House for yours today. Warning: They only accept payment in Trump Coin™.