by Noah Remember when the GOP's number one national security risk and number one nutball in their whole party of endless national security risks and nutballs promised to build an impervious wall and give us the best healthcare in the universe? Yeah, he failed bigly as always but, not to worry, no less authorities than The Pillow Guy, Sean Hannity and the rest of the QANON hierarchy tell us that their Donnie Psycho will soon be re-installed in the White House with JFK Jr. as VP, The Happy Hooker as Secretary of State, Marjorie Traitor Greene's new bestie Pat Sajak as Press Secretary, and Vlad Putin as Special Pentagon Consultant. More importantly though, Mr. Bigly Traitor Boy has assured us all that he can now deliver on the wall, healthcare, a fully Russian Ukraine, the purchase of Greenland, the end of NATO, and all of his promises faster than you can guzzle a bottle of Clorox (It's got what healthy hearts crave!). How, you ask? Sooo simple! It's because of his recently developed Trump Magic Mind™ powers, of course! The same powers that he used to declassify all those stolen documents!* All we have to do is help assure the "immediate reinstallment" he's demanding and his re-election in 2024. Oh and send $50 to his "Save America Pac" every week in perpetuity. Are you in? Your Republican Party- The Best People For The Best Solutions!
*Even if they were declassified, it wouldn't matter. He still stole them and theft is theft. Prosecution is called for. Just sayin'.