Midnight Meme Of The Day! Trump Says First 100 Days "Greatest In American History!"

Mayday!!! Mayday!!!

by Noah

Well the first 100 days of Trumpanzee 2.0 are great for him. He's raking in cash from CEO sleazebags looking for favors like having their legal problems disappear at rates that have "never been seen before. Believe me. That I can tell you." His South African white supremacist Election Fixer/Co-President has tapped into every mutant antisocial psychopathic cell in his body and made American jobs disappear "like nobody's ever seen before" while he's now making a reported $8,000,000 a day from the American government and received an onslaught of new "look the other way" deals from Trump while hurting competitor companies and "saving" piles of money that seem to disappear to pockets known and unknown as if by magic. General Motors is redoing its profit forecast, and not in a good way. Companies of all sizes are already bringing in more bankruptcy lawyers.

All is going according to Republican plan. By December children's toys will be costing 145% more but don't worry, the shelves will be empty anyway. And, speaking of kids, children with cancers that can be treated here are being deported to places where treatment isn't available. That's enough to put a smile on any republican face. And don't worry, money for research on future cancer treatments and pandemic mitigation has been cut and your kid might now die of measles anyway. Or, smallpox and The Black Death? Give it time. They're working on it. Brainworms for all!!!

Did I mention that Homeland Security thugs and ICE thugs have now been officially told they don't need warrants or even have to knock or identify themselves? Oh, and Trump has started telling voters in other countries to vote for him and he's having his lunatic-run FBI arresting judges that either just follow the laws or don't do his evil bidding. It's opposite world "like never before, that I can tell you!" And there's also that little thing about more secrets flowing to Moscow via the teenage DOGE team and Hegseth's Signal chats that nihilistically endanger the lives of our military people. You know, the ones that republicans refer to as "suckers" and "losers" while they take their benefits along with yours and mine. And, don't you worry if you've forgotten your Social Security number. Everyone else has it now anyway.

The next 100 days will be even worse. 77,000,000 happy customers! All that I just mentioned is just the tip of the melting iceberg. Even if Trump dies, we'll still have JD Vance, Stephen Miller, Howard Lutnick, Pam Bondi, Speaker Johnson, Tommy Tubervile, and every other loathsome republican cockroach in his administration and Congress. But, don't worry, Chuck Schumer will write a strong letter.