by Noah
In ancient times, primitive people used to sacrifice children to appease their gods. This was often done in the hopes of ensuring a victory in war or a bountiful harvest of the yearly crops. The human sacrifices were performed on mountain tops or in buildings specially constructed for such things.
Not much has really changed since those days. In our time, there are many gods, but today I'm thinking about one god and that god's personal slaves in particular. Today we have certain primitive types who freely walk among us and sacrifice children and anyone else whose lives they don't value in order to appease their god that goes by the name of NRA.
It's all made nice and legal, codified by the very primitives who benefit from their god's largess. They do it right in their own special building, too. It's all done in hopes of victory in a grotesque extended psychopathic culture war and in hopes of a bountiful harvest of cash for their political campaigns to help achieve that victory; and, of course, have a little left over for the ol' Swiss bank accounts. These primitives have, however, introduced a new wrinkle along the way: They don't actually do the sacrifices themselves. After all, they wouldn't want you to actually see the blood on their hands. Instead, the sacrifices are carried out across the great land by the strangers they have aided and emboldened. It's all so nice and neat. They get to keep the cash and use their primitive minds to convince themselves they are absolved of any sin in the matter. They'll even offer "thoughts and prayers" and now say it's "heartbreaking and horrifying," not to them, though.