by Noah
August 2021 has come and gone. In a major shocker, FOX "News" Election Desk expert Mike "Pillowcase Full Of Crack" Lindell has turned out to be wrong. The Republican Party's Obese Orange Menace To Society has not be reinstated as POTUS. Although, it's worth noting that any Republican you have the misfortune to know believes Agent Double-OMTS is still the president, has always been the president, and, will always be the president even if Ronna Romney McDaniel and Rand Paul have to wheel his corpse around in a huge jar of formaldehyde for the next 30 years in a particularly gross reenactment of "Weekend At Bernies."
"Let him rot," I say! "Let him rot! Let the worms and maggots do what they were born to do! It's science!"
Until then, for some reason I feel compelled to point out that all employees at FOX, AON, Breitbart, Newsmax, WND, and Sinclair have probably been put on suidcide watch and been ordered to wear only black for a newly extended period of mourning of indeterminate length. All sharp objects have been removed from all of the headquarters involved, except, of course, for syringes to be used for the injection of Ivermectin and/or Lysol. The same goes for each and every republican member of Congress. Boebert and Gohmert have not been heard from. Gaetz is banging his head against the door of a Flor-i-duh middle school, Hawley is stepping up his German lessons, Marjorie Traitor Greene is filming ads for her new line of 4-legged straitjackets, Cruz is contemplating fleeing to Argentina, and Madison Cawthorn is threatening bloodshed based on the false election theft conspiracies that he and his party continue to feverishly promote.
Such is America, September 2021. As fans of the old Brooklyn Dodgers used to say, "Wait 'til next year!"