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  • Writer's pictureNoah

Midnight Meme Of The Day! The Sick, Twisted Irony Of Herschel Walker's Candidacy

by Noah

You're fine with abortion if you need to win a Senate race, but you're not fine with a woman needing it to save her own life.
-Trevor Noah, addressing Republicans

Allow me to tap into my well of snark, contempt, and facetiousness:

Just think if, instead of Georgia, Herschel Walker lived in Texas and was running for $enator there. Of course, those lunatics would vote for him but how many of them would then, with misogynistic zeal and visions of Texas bounty cash in their nearly dead eyes, take it upon themselves enforce the law vigilante style as intended by the Texas legislature no matter what any judge ever says. They would set out to capture Walker, his former girlfriend, and her doctor in order to collect the Texas legislature's approved bounty for bringing in anyone accused of being involved in the aborting of a fetus.

Herschel would then do the longest run of his life all the way to the Capitol Building in DC where, if the GOP had the majority, they would proudly vote to seat him as a sitting $enator. Then a mob of feverish red-hatted nutjob vigilante Texans would travel east to descend upon the Capitol Building only to implode into two warring factions. Faction 1 would want to let Walker serve as their $enator because he would be a vote in favor of the Republican Party's proposed national abortion ban. Faction 2 would want to collect the Texas reward money and lynch him like those 1/6 goons wanted to lynch Vice President Pence. Then they would hope that Greg Abbott got to appoint some other woman-hating nutjob but one that hadn't left such an easily verifiable abortion paper trail.

Now imagine if, after this year's election, Georgia still has a Republican governor and a Republican dominated legislature and decides to pass a Texas style anti-abortion law of their own, complete with the same bounty hunter provisions proposed by the Texas law. I guess Walker could never go back to Georgia to visit with any of his loving constituents. That's alright, he can impregnate fellow Georgian Marjorie Traitor Greene right on the steps of the Capitol with the full support of his party. Imagine the genius of the future offspring; definitely future presidential material in the eyes of Republicans everywhere.

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