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Midnight Meme Of The Day! S.O.T.U. Or S.T.F.U.?

by Noah

Hey, not to be too critical, but stage craft matters and if I was President Biden's new Chief of Staff and in charge of how he presented the State Of The Union speech, I would have taken a different approach. The president would have had a very large white balloon tied to a long cord on his left wrist and I would have had a gas stove on the dais, complete with a Vanna White-style drag queen miming its features. Then, while wishing everybody a Happy Black History Month, the president would have waved a book on black history at the assembled crowd ala Traitor Don waiving an upside down bible in a cloud of dissipating tear gas. Then, since the Republikooks have now made it ok to carry a gun in the Capitol Building, I would have whipped out a German Luger, pointed it up at my balloon and shot it with a devilish smile on my face. You know, like why not satirize the total goofball crackpot side of the aisle? Let them all leave? Watch them all die of heart attacks or apoplexy on the spot? Who cares? Certainly not me. I would see it as a lovely S.T.F.U. moment. I'd love to see every one of them pissing all over themselves while rolling around on the floor in a measure of psychic pain previously unknown in Washington but so often deserved.

Then the president could have said something like:

My fellow real Americans, not the effing airhead Russian stooges that just ran out of the room crying and screaming, let's get past these nutball distractions and talk about the real problems facing us like guns, housing, education, healthcare, climate change, and the debt ceiling. You know the list! Let's get down to real work and stop constantly appeasing all these brainless maga monkeys!

Then, as you know, my version of the president would immediately call for the indictment, arrest, trial, conviction, and the lifetime of damp, dank, dungeon confinement of Traitor Don and all of his enablers and co-conspirators on Trump's White House staff, in the House and $enate (i.e. those who acquitted him in the impeachment trials and helped stage J-6), in the media (That would be you Tucker, and your cronies, too). And, I would also publicly ask Merrick Garland and those around him to tell us why they should not be included. None of this is even politics anymore. The nation isn't just bleeding to death now. It's hemorrhaging, gushing like a fountain. It's just time to pick a side and it has been for a long, long while. You are either a Nazi or you aren't. And, yet, the real Biden and way too many others foolishly think you can talk to Nazis. I've used the Neville Chamberlain comparison for decades.

Alas, this is not the world we live in. I was born into the wrong parallel world. The President Biden we saw yesterday was not, to put it mildly, my ideal. He gave a S.O.T.U. speech of sorts, not a S.T.F.U. speech. Sadly, no one's ever going to make me a president's Chief of Staff. Hell, I'm not a classic Republican like "George Santos" so I can't even tell you I've ever been one.

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