The Strange Obsessions Of Typical Republican Jerkoffs!
by Noah
What kind of mind obsesses about the gender identification of candy? And what kind of a mind gives such a mind a nightly TV show to endlessly blabber and blather about it? Calling Sigmund Freud!
"They're coming for your guns" has morphed into "They're coming for your stoves." These endless fearful musings of Republicans belong, at best, on some sort of 10 watt public access station available only at nursing homes and insane asylums but here we are, and hundreds of thousands of dead from the neck up baboons tune in to get riled up; Fox and friends all across the entire republican spectrum of media outlets catapulting their insanity even if they have to make shit up to do it.
Plastic bags, traffic signs, chocolate candies, gas stoves, vaccines, electric cars, black planets, brown planets, and even round planets... A real satanic brew, ya got there, Repugs! These are but a few of the endless twisted obsessions, gripes, and fears of the ever-whining, quivering Republican element of our society as we gasp for so much as a breath of fresh air. And, we're only in January and the Kremlin Kevin Kongress has barely begun. Behold the red army faction as it cries in abject terror!
Here's an idea that's suitable for any republican: If you're so bent out of shape about not having enough plastic bags to literally clog our oceans in a Sargasso Sea of those plastic bags, please consider tying one over your brainless head and be done with it. Be sure to tie it firmly! I wouldn't want to have to come around and fix it you you! Oh, and are you really so worried about not having a gas stove due to some imagined conspiracy to take yours away? If your fears are too much for you to bear, do not despair! I've got an idea about that for you, as well!
Beware. Be afraid, all you tiny-brained Republikooks! Fear will eat your soul, if you ever had one.