Midnight Meme Of The Day! Republicans Announce New Trump Solidarity™ Fashion Hats For Fall!!

Ghislaine Signed Editions! Epstein Autopen Editions!

by Noah

As you read this post, please keep in mind that, if a panicked president has to put 1000 FBI agents in charge of redacting his own name from The Epstein Files, he just might be a pedophile. He might also be a full blown worldwide partner in whatever Epstein and assorted financial associates were up to. What control over Trump are the people who know the sordid details holding over Trump on a daily basis? The unknown answers to that are affecting us all whether we realize it yet or not. There has never been a more important need to follow the money in any investigation as there is now and it appears that Ron Wyden has been looking into this for a few years now. It's about time since the talk about Trump's friendship with Jeffrey "terrific guy" Epstein and their mutual interest in women "on the younger side" has been circulating in the public loudly enough for his supporters to know about it for over 20 years. It didn't bother his voters one bit. Meanwhile, the Republican halves of both houses of Congress have doubled, tripled and even quintupled down on their efforts to snuff out this scandal. Are they showing their solidarity with their guru of hate and perversion? You bet. There's no other way to rationally see their actions. So here you go. Sadly today's satire too often becomes seen as tomorrow's reality when the spotlight gets turned on -

Dateline Washington, DC: Speaking from the White House, an unidentified Republican Party spokesman announced today that his party will be selling new "Solidarity With Trump™" matching hat and T-shirt sets from their growing "Redefining Family Values™" fashion line. Appearing in front of a large picture of several braming Trump cabinet members who wore the new hats, and lovingly introduced by the White House Press Secretary, the spokesman appeared to be wearing an orange trash bag over his head and spoke with an electronically disguised voice. The mysterious spokesperson said-

Believe me, I know the best hats and these hats will sell out quickly. The factories won't be able to keep up, that I can tell you. We've already sent a first run of them to our members of Congress and I'm getting very strong, very powerful, incredible reports, great ratings from Majority Leader Thune and Speaker Mike who tells me that he's getting a reaction you won't believe when he wears the great Trump Solidarity™ items outside back in his district. Says he wore them to church last Sunday and was asked to speak and when he did all our evangelical friends in the congregation wanted to know how fast they could get the new hats. Uh, er, a, all my supporters in Congress... lots of applause from them the whole GOP have taken a pledge to be wearing these hats in Congress every single day when they return sometime in December or next year. They love my hats. Everyone loves my hat. They love whatever I sell and they love me. Me me I am more popular than Lincoln. What can I tell you? Many people are saying they would love to buy signed editions. Different signed editions for many many key important people who all want them. A big bib bank CEO wants to make them his dressh code. Airline pilots want to wear my hats. Very big people like these hats, but not Obama. Did I ever tell you what bad taste Obama has in hats no taste Deep State AOC too she's a very stupid person and each hat is lined with red tin foil to protect you from the cancer windmills cause. I'm not following what's going on with Ghislaine. I have all sorts of name ideas for sports teams isn't it weird that not one American sports team has ever been named after Martin Bormann ever. Don't know why I just thought of that but The Bormanns. The Redskins is good but Bormanns that's better Washington Bormanns I like that. I wonder if he has a podcast I could go on it and tell him I'd sell a ton of hats windmills that noise but cancer causing fentanaly windmills I never promised you a rose garden but theses hats Epstein terrific guy.

As the typically brain dead White House Press Corps tried in vain to figure out who was addressing them, the spokesman was heard to say that anyone who orders immediately will be able to also get a pair of gold sneakers at the reduced price of $425 or $475 with 3-inch lift inserts. "We have lots of those left," said the orange hooded spokescretin.