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  • Writer's pictureNoah

Midnight Meme Of The Day! Republican Child-Rearing Tips!



by Noah


The nihilism of Republicans knows no bounds. Sending kids off to their schools unprotected is just the latest proof of that. Soon, the GOP will "codify" their strategy towards America's kids. Not that we didn't already know from their inaction after things like Columbine, Newtown, and Parkland.

But, I'll just save the alleged pro-lifers some time. Here's what the next Republican Party platform will have to offer children:

1. Unmask Our Kids!

2. Bring Back Lead Paint!


3. No More Of Those Awful Child Car Seats!


4. Bring Back Second Hand Smoke!

5. Seat Belts Are Repression.


6. Bike Helmets Are Mind Control!


7. No More Socialist Amber Alerts! Kids Should Find Their Own Way Home!


8. 911 Is Also Nanny State Socialism. Do Not Teach Your Child To Dial It!


9. Underage Drinking Is Freedom! Start 'Em Young!


Well, that's quite a 9-Point Plan. As for me, I aim to do my part. I'm no longer obeying stoplights. It's about my freedoms! Stoplights (and stop signs) are the big bad government's way of trying to tell me what to do with my own car! Trump will support me on this! Next thing you know, they'll try to force me to get it inspected! Not one of my dogs is vaccinated for rabies! Deal with it!!!

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2 Comments


decrap, Noah did not forget Sandy Hook. Newtown and Sandy Hook are one in the same just as Parkland and Marjorie Stoneman Douglas are the same. People like Alex Jones and republican members of congress usually refer to it as "The Newtown Hoax" not the "Sandy Hook Hoax." I'm sure Noah would thank you for playing though. Speaking for myself, your need to spend so much time fighting for attention while showing this readership how challenged you are is very sad.

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dcrapguy
dcrapguy
Aug 25, 2021

You omitted probably the worst kid-victim mass shooting: Sandy Hook.

Never forget Sandy Hook. The nazi response to that was to loosen gun laws... then claim it was a hoax.

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