Midnight Meme Of The Day! Pence Briefly Finds A Spine

by Noah

It took more than a year. His boss sends a mob to hang him and he says nada for a year and a month; more, and he finally was able to form the words to say his boss was wrong to think he had the right to overthrow the election; just that though. No "My boss is insane." No "My party is nothing but a nazi criminal enterprise." Did he think we couldn't handle the truth we already know?

A whole damn year. Was he in shock and rendered speechless? Did "mother" forbid him to speak, even in his own defense? Was he so afraid to offend the voters of the Domestic Terrorism Party that he just shut up. Did he convince himself it never happened just like so many other republicans say? Did he agree that being hanged would have just been "Legitimate political discourse?" Did he think it was a hoax like COVID-19, Parkland, or Sandy Hook? Was that whole red-hatted white supremicist 1/6 mob just a bunch of so-called crisis actors? He didn't even say if he thinks the election was rigged or not.

Mike Pence has always been slow and kind of quiet, but a year is a bit much even for him. Way too quiet! Pence is the kind of guy who, if he lived next door... Well, let's just say you'd always wonder what he's got in his basement crawl space or what's in those huge trash bags he's always struggling to jam into the trunk of his car. Can you imagine if he was ever president and missiles were headed to America? I can just see it now as he tells our generals. "Let's schedule a meeting about this. Does 13 months from today work for you?"

OK. I'll be fair, because I'm always fair. I'll put the blame on that damn fly that sat there on his head while he debated Kamala Harris. Maybe that fly laid some eggs and the maggots hatched and have been eating his brain ever since? Nah! Sorry. I just can't do it. We all know Pence has always acted like maggots are eating his brain. Don't blame that fly. Many flies before her have found fertile ground on Pence's skull. There's always been something seriously amiss with Mike Pence.