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  • Writer's pictureNoah

Midnight Meme Of The Day! Happy Birthday, Abe Lincoln!

by Noah Abe Lincoln was born on this day in 1809. We can only imagine what Abe Lincoln would say if he suddenly found himself transported to today. No time is perfect and his time certainly wasn't perfect at all but most of us, like him, at least try to have a hope for the future and wonder what it might be like. So if Abe Lincoln came to 2022 and I was his tour guide, I would be embarrassed at the grievous extent to which his country has let him down after he fought so hard and gave his life. Imagine having to tell him that his party is a cult of conspiracy nuts, traitors, bigots, homicidal maniacs that wave Confederate flags, and that, in no way, would he be safe in their presence. What would you say to him when he asks you what that flag with the swastika is all about? How do you explain to him that conservative movement politics has now gone full flower into a level of hate-worshiping nihilism once not thought possible by naive everyday Americans? I have to feel that an Abe Lincoln who found himself transported ahead in time to 2022 would take a look around and immediately want to go back. In fact, he might ask to go back to a time before his birthday so he could warn the founding fathers about what he'd seen. It would be something like "Guys, I've been to the future and you're just not going to believe what I saw in 2022." Obviously, they would then have Honest Abe carted off to whatever hellhole they put insane people in back then. Come to think of it, wise ol' Abe would know this and say nothing. Besides, those who theorize about going back in history in order to change history for the better say that you might actually inadvertently make things even worse. In Abe's case, he might never have been president; no Emancipation Proclamation, the Confederacy wins the war and America doesn't become a world power and ends up goose stepping in the streets and speaking German, all of which is the dream of the 21st century version of his own party. Unspeakable irony! It's enough to make a man just throw up his hands and go to the theater for some escapism. Happy Birthday, Abe. Thanks for saving the country. But for what it's become? Well, thanks for trying.

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