by Noah
George Santos is what happens when Moscow Mitch is allowed to walk around with a Russian flag in his pocket. George Santos is what happens when Putin's Manchurian President is impeached and gets to stay in the Oval Office because the party Putin has bought votes to keep him there. What better way to start off a new year than to present the Republican Party's newest star, Rep.-Elect George Santos, if that's even his real name. Trying to find political people of any party who are serious about the basic concepts of honesty is difficult at best but "George Santos" has broken new ground. Reportedly, his party has always known that the background and experience he has presented to the public is a fraud. The dumbest thing is that the idiots at the DNC and DCCC didn't. Hey, guys, ever hear of the idea of opposition research? Part of me would like to think that you knew all along but did nothing just so you could mess with Kremlin Kevin McCarthy after the repugs took over the House but that would mean I'm a dumbass for giving you too much credit for smarts.
Have you noticed how silent the Nazis are about this affair? Kremlin Kevin McCarthy? Moscow Mitch? The Diaper Don? The pro-Russian white supremacist and anti-Semite crowd at FOX? Nothing. Nary a word. OK, maybe a whisper and a chuckle. Traditionally, when someone possessing a false identity infiltrates a government, they are rightfully treated as a suspected spy and investigated for espionage. At least the local DA in Nassau County New York is apparently about to investigate and she happens to be a Republican. Expect that woman to be fully ostracized (at best) in no time. Of course it's highly likely that she sees her real job as finding a way to smoothly sweep this whole affair under a nice plush carpet. On a different level, federal investigators are making noises that amount to a follow the money hunt. Here's a hint: Round up the usual suspect billionaires and oligarchs.
But what else do we expect at this point from a government that doesn't enforce the very laws it writes; weak and deliberately full of loopholes which they are?
So who or what is this asshole? Says he's Jewish. He's not. Says he graduated from Baruch College. He never attended. Ditto New York's Horace Mann High School. He says he worked at both Citigroup and Goldman-Sachs. They never heard of him, or so they claim. He says 9/11 killed his mother. She died 6 years ago. He says his grandparents escaped Hitler's Germany. Ah, nope! They lived in Brazil. He says he was once mugged and robbed of over $2,200 as he was on his way to settle his delinquent rent bill. The police have no record of the incident being reported. Wouldn't you report something like that? He says he has no criminal past. Hmmm, maybe? He says he's gay. Is he? Does he even have a penis? Is "George Santos" even an American citizen? Can we see his birth certificate? Sooner or later, some bot troll that no one ever sees will end up on a ballot. Hey, I know. Maybe "George Santos" is some sort of robot AI experiment gone horribly wrong, or maybe he volunteered for one of those Elon Musk neuralink thingies. And let's not forget his claimed financial talent that enabled him to go from an income of $50,000 a year to over $3,000,000 to over $11,000,000, just 3 years after gettin' to know a Russian oligarch or two! The guy's a wizard, I tell ya!
By the way, where do I apply to be part of Russia's "Adopt-A-Politician" program? Just kidding. I'd be the first guy Putin would try to have mysteriously tossed out of a hotel window.
So, who else? We've already had a fake billionaire with a fake face and a mail order wife who has fake "kidneys." Don't get me started on his plastic daughter and the space alien VP. Who are these people whose names show up on our ballots? Who are any of them? Who backed "George Santos?" How did he suddenly get so very rich? Is someone really gonna follow the money? What's next? First the GOP welcomes Trump and the likes of Marjorie Traitor Greene and mental cases like Paul Gosar. How many of these goons are sitting in Congress with fake identities and fake credentials? You know, they never did find the Zodiac killer.
Oh, and that last line in the above meme? Doubtful. Or maybe I should just say, about as rare as seeing Bigfoot in silver spandex chaps riding a purple unicorn. Nice drugs if you can get 'em. Bottom line: If "George Santos" is sworn in and seated in the new congress, it will be further proof that they're all in on it; a wink and a nod.