by Noah
Here's a little something you might not have heard yet from the Republican Party's newest hero. Let's let "George Santos" tell you in his own inimitable way:
It's a little known fact that, as you can see above, I was right there with the Rev. Martin Luther King in front of the Lincoln Memorial as he gave the famous speech that I wrote back in August of 1963. As you can see, I was very young and I've obviously aged exceptionally well but I was a real man with words even then. In fact, I received a Pulitzer Prize for writing such a moving and important speech. LBJ even invited me over to the White House for dinner and offered me a speech writing job that very night. I immediately accepted but was quickly shown the door when I mentioned that I had written John Kennedy's "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country" inauguration speech. I also wrote JFK's Berlin speech by the way. Let me tell you it was hard in those days, what with also designing the Saturn V rocket for NASA and all that. The most important thing to me though is, I'm just paraphrasing myself here, that I have always been judged by the content of my character. As the Republican Party has so embraced me and everything that I so fervently stand for, there is not a minute of the day when that doesn't put a smile on my face! Believe me.
Well, there it is, folks, straight from the horror horse's mouth! Seriously though, Happy Martin Luther King Day from all of us to all of you.