by Noah Florida! The Sinkhole State! Republicans are out of control. They are totally out of control. They are totally out of control all across this country and nihilistically dragging us down into a very dark pit. Nowhere is that more evident than in Florida. Florida now daily packages up its insanity like it's filling a giant balloon with weeks old urine in July and drops it upon us. Splat! They do it with great pride and endless Beavis & Butt-Head laughter... Like it's the right thing to do. When you're insane and out of control, that's what you do. Who knows when it started. Maybe it was back in 2000 when the Bush Crime Family rigged an election for real and still didn't win except they got enough black robed dirtbags on the Supreme Court to go along with them. Then it was "Onward! Into Iraq!" Thanks Florida. So, this week, it was a school principal getting the axe because a 6th grader saw a picture of one of the outside world's greatest works of art, Michelangelo's statue of David, a work commissioned and proudly displayed by a church in Florence, Italy back at the dawn of the 16th century, 1504 to be precise. The town's people were so genuinely proud that they took the statue out of the church and placed it in the town square so that all people could see it all day, any day! That was the real statue! Over 500 years later, in Florida, a mere picture of the very statue causes fear and revulsion, in Florida. You have to go some to be so much more backward than Italy in 1504. As always, a hellhole like Florida sees that as a challenge. WTF Florida! WTF. The statue of David is anatomically correct as they say. Amazing! In Florida, they don't think kids know what a penis is. Trust me, 6th graders know what a penis is. It may surprise Floridians that half of them even have one of their own. But, just to be sure, Florida even elects politicians that'll show them theirs. You don't even have to ask. Nowadays, by age 9, you've seen it all. Ain't no big deal except in like Florida where everyday is Backwards Day. Fuck that place. Let the Burmese Pythons have it, every damn mosquito and every damn grain of soggy sand. Look, it doesn't matter when Florida's insanity started now. It only matters that, since people like Marco Rubio, Rick Scott, and Ron DeSantis came along, the madness has been accelerating at a faster and faster whirling dervish pace, a pace that threatens to screw the whole state into the ground. And did I mention that sick, carny row freak in Mar-a-Lago? Forget my sinkhole allusion. Picture Florida as a black hole that is in the midst of sucking the whole country down with it to god knows where. Not even Einstein would know precisely where. The quantum physicists can only tell us that we all get crushed and destroyed by gravity on the way.
