• Noah

Midnight Meme Of The Day! Caitlyn Jenner Speaks For Repugs Everywhere

Once more, for emphasis:

My friends are leaving California. My hangar, the guy across... he was packing up his hangar and I said, ‘Where are you going?’ And he says, ‘I’m moving to Sedona, Arizona, I can’t take it anymore. I can’t walk down the streets and see the homeless.'

Psycho Donnie Trump didn't really open the weirdo door to the Republican Party clubhouse. That door blew off the hinges long, long ago. But accepting Donnie 2x as their lord and savior has directly led to quite a menagerie of Republican candidates for higher office across this great land. In Arkansaw, there's the inbreeding poster gal Sarah Huckabee Sanders running for Governor. In Georgia, there's Marforie Terrorist Greene. Ron DeSantis is already in and running for reelection in Florida but that's Flor-i-duh. What else would one expect? North Carolina shamelessly holds up Madison Cawthorn with great pride. Texas has a whole football team worth of crazies, led by "Ted" Cruz, John Cornyn, Louie Gohmert and a Governor and Lt. Governor who will never, ever, quite grasp the concepts of sanity and human decency, nor, will they ever even try. Colorado has Lauren "No Brains" Borbert... You get the picture. Republicans have taken that "Anyone can be president" thing way too far and don't think for a second that the RNC wouldn't be proud to run any of the wackos and freakshow people I just mentioned for the highest office in the land.

Now, in California the Republican Party is so desperate to recall Democratic Governor Gavin Newsom that they'll rally behind anyone to take him down. One loon, a fool named John Cox travels around campaign stops with a 9 foot tall kodiak bear on a chain, and then there's the professional TV celebrity Caitlyn Jenner, a trans woman who hates trans people. I guess that makes her the perfect kind of trans person, if you're a Republican.

Jenner has been getting a lot of heat for the above quote. Had she said it for a Republican crowd, it wouldn't have gotten much of a reaction. They'd see nothing wrong with it. But she said it on national TV, on Sean Hannity's Nightly Nihilism Hour and the blowback was rightly swift and fierce. You never know who might be tuning in. That got me to thinking, what quotes were edited out? Well, I'm here to tell you, we at DWT have come up with the stuff that hit the cutting room floor and we're proud to bring it to you, exclusively, below. Here are six of the most telling:

1. I had to wait for a wine delivery to my mansion today. The little brown jerk said he had other deliveries, and I happen to know that I ordered better wine! I complained to the management!

2. My chauffeur didn't want to pick me up today because there were so many cheap cars on the road. I can't blame him but I do pay him $7.25 an hour so he better come when I beckon or I'll find a new guy. Can you imagine?

3. I have my windows tinted on both sides so I don't have to see the rabble.

4. Some people have rosary beads but I have rosary pearls.

5. This COVID thing is such a damn inconvenience. The place that makes my favorite foie gras isn't even open anymore, and you know, I broke a heel on one of my $2000 shoes and the repair place is closed, too!

6. God, Sean! If I see one more thrift store! It was bad enough hearing about people going into Levis stores and buying non-designer jeans! People just have no self-respect anymore! And if I hear one more tale of someone doing their own nails or spending less than $400 on a haircut, I swear I'm just going to go so totally postal and I don't have time for that. I want to be a governor of all the people. Know what I mean, Sean? Of course you do!

Yes, Caitlyn. And we know too. Now, since you already have a private hangar and a plane, can we interest you in taking up naked and chute-less skydiving? Californians would pay a lot to see that!