Welcome to Pardon Depot!!!
Is there a murder in your past? Are you an embezzler? Are you just a friend of our great President Trump in good standing whose federal crimes have not yet been discovered? Don't worry about a thing!! Pardon Depot is the place for you!!!
Treason? Pedophilia? Rape? Kidnapping? Bribery, Tax Evasion? Insider Trading (congressional or otherwise)? Recent war crimes? Extortion? Fraud of any kind? All of the above?
Are you now or have you ever been a Trump lawyer? Or, party official? Don't ever worry! We have a pardon for you!!!!
Contact us now for our extensive schedule of available pardons and costs! Ask about our special Epstein and McConnell packages! No pardon is unthinkable!*
Limited time offer. Call us today at 202-456-1111.
*All pardons pre-approved on 2/5/20 by a $enate vote of 53-47. Pardons not available after noon on 1/20/21.