by Noah Oh Boy! $600 for each of us "ordinary Americans" from a bunch of bipartisan scumbag sleazeballs in suits who each make $174,000 a year and get free healthcare for life paid for by our tax dollars! That's not to mention all the graft and so-called "campaign contributions" they take in from the K Street Bribery Squads and the rest of Korporate Amerika! Fuck these assholes with a chainsaw! That goes double for Moscow Mitch McConnell. No, make it quadruple! As $enate Majority Leader, McTraitor gets $193,400 per year and he led this filthy compromise. Three guesses where the congressional salaries come from. $600 was the least he could do, so he cynically did it. And for this, we waited for 8+ months while he played cat and mouse after the House put together a better second relief bill, passed it, and watched you wipe your ass with it. The whole thing amounts to less than half of the original CARES Act back in March, and that one was rife with unnecessary monetary gifts for the upper crust, deliberate dysfunction and what amounted to bank scams. Of course Moscow Mitch is all smiling and thumbs up happy. Look at him. He's a sadist, psycho, and, as $enate Majority Leader, the chief architect of death, disappointment, and human misery for the American people. He knows $600 is next to nothing and won't even put a tiny dent in the pile of bills that's been growing in homes across America. He knows that the $600 and other things for workers and small businesses are way too little way too late. He knows that paltry $600 won't arrive in time to buy Christmas presents. He laughs about it as he proudly calls himself the grim reaper. And all of these Washington jokers, the ones who called COVID a hoax, jumping the line to get COVID vaccines even before thousands of hospital workers and senior citizens was a nice touch, especially for lowlifes like Marco Rubio and Lindsey Graham who constantly talked down the dangers of COVID-19 and who'd likely still have us believe the plague is a hoax. In a previous life, people like these definitely dressed up as women and got into the lifeboats of the Titanic. Is Moscow Mitch the man Kentuckyans wanted or is all their republican talk about Trump being robbed another deliberate misdirection? Maybe the places where we should really be looking for election fraud and voter fraud are places like Kentucky. Follow the rubles, and maybe take note of the fact that both Moscow Mitch and his buddy Vlad Putin finally, after weeks of delay, put in their congratulatory calls to President-Elect Biden at what amounts to essentially the same time. Gee, a more cynical man than I might suspect that they had both been talking together just a few minutes before.
You're a fine one Mr. Mitch. You'd have us believe your intentions were good when you finally, after all this time of sadistic delay, you gathered your horseshit colleagues together and figured out how to give sparkling platinum to your multi-national business pals and brittle corroded used tin to American working people. You'll wink as your business cronies use $200Billion of free, now tax deductible welfare loans of our tax dollars that you're handing them for stock by-backs and park the rest off shore and save some of it for the next time they need to bribe you for something. $200Billion straight to the top half of the 1%! Fuck you again Mitch. You are the evil ringmaster of this circus of bipartisan double-talking douchebag freaks. You even slipped in a huge bag of tax payer moola for a Kentucky horse racing commission. How much of that goes right into your pockets, Mitch? You did this only after you could maximize the months of suffering of what you claim is your country. You did that so you could chuckle that hideous chuckle of yours as you watched peopple die, watched the total of businesses closing their doors grow each and every day and watched as more and more Americans went deeper and deeper into debt, so much so that they'll take any job, even if it's a step or two closer to outright slavery. You know, too, that the so-called relief package that you've let out won't even put a dent in debts and money troubles working Americans are sustaining. Fuck you Moscow Mitch. $3,000,000,000 for Corporate Martini Lunch Deductions? Nice, Mitch. It's not like that $3,000,000,000 could go to something actually useful. You give bags of money to Walmat and other corporations. Yeah. Sam Walton's poor destitute family really needed the money. Fuck you and fuck them. You talk about still more tax breaks for corporations and the rich people who already have more than enough money to stuff endless cash in your pockets while overwhelmed food banks get what amounts to a $20 gift coupon.
By dragging this out for months and months, Moscow Mitch happily held millions and millions of Americans hostage in order to make them happy to take whatever pennies they can get. Americans are asking for real survival checks, not a paltry $600 and $300 added to their unemployment benefits, if they can even get those! Your idiot party talks about saying 'Merry Christmas' but Christmas tree sales are down because so many people can't even afford them. What you've done is turn your warped fascist dream of combining "A Christmas Carol" with "Oliver Twist."
If the name Moscow Mitch wasn't so damn accurate, we could call you Scrooge McTurtle as you psychotically turn America into a nation of Oliver Twists who will stupidly vote for your kind right up until the day they can't even do that due to either death from plagues or your non-stop voter suppression schemes. There's no happy ending where you see the light unless it's the light people see when they die.
Please sir, we want some more!
Moscow Mitch, you are a prime candidate for a truck dragging. I hope they have it as part of the Super Bowl halftime show, but then I always, back in the day, wanted something very similar for Nixon and it never happened. I'd look forward to pissing on your grave except that might bring a smile to your wormy corpse. That day can't come soon enough.
And now it gets worse as you comrade in the oval office says he wants to veto your sick sausage creation and he cynically talks of the $2000 stimulus checks the House was asking for in the first place, all because he thinks it will make him a hero when he takes his final stab at staying in office or running an insideous TV network until the glorious day in which he finally does America a favor and chokes to death on a misplaced screw in a hamberberder.