by Noah
Poor Tucker Tiki Torch Carlson. He had such a bad week last week. After obsessing about the gender identities of potatoes and then his beloved racist children's books being removed from the marketplace, he needed a couple of new gripes to whine about. Lucky for Mr. Tiki Torch, he found them! First an additional charge of 3rd degree murder was added to the list of charges one of his heroes will now face for killiing George Floyd, then came a cascade of well-deserved boos when, night after effing night, he went off on the idea of women serving as Generals in the military, flight suits designed to meet the comfort needs of women and all sorts of accomodations that ol' Tucker Freaky Face just can't come to grips with. He even says he prefers the Chinese military because in his eyes, it's much more masculine. Of course he does! It seems that the military of Tucker Carlson's dreams is an All Male Revue. Cue up the VIllage People! Tucker loves a man in uniform, but a woman? One of those female people? Oh, that's just way too much to bear!
All this from a man who represents the pinnacle of ignorance in our society and shows no sign of having even one patriotic or non-racist cell in his soft, very, very white pillsbury doughboy of a body. Jeez, Tucker, the thought of taking orders from a woman got ya down?
And, yeah, Tucker, what's this country comin' too when a copper who shares your white supremacy views can't even choke a black dude to death by crushing his larynx with a knee in the middle of the road for 8:46 seconds while normal people beg him to stop. What's Tucker Carlson's dream America coming to? Oh, don't worry, Tucker. There's about 74,000,000 Trump-voting Americans who believe in you and share your dreams of total nazification. And, don't worry your sponsors like the My Pillow guy and the Murdochs, who pay you for your nightly heinous bile, will always keep you around. Your causes are their causes. That's why you're there.