by Noah
It's that time of the year folks and young people are thinking about who they might go to their prom with. Like me, I know you can see Matt Gaetz parked outside a Flor-i-duh middle school in some limo with blackened windows that some sleazy lobbyist gave him. I wonder what he uses for bait.
Anyway, we've already heard about how Gaetz loves to show his fellow congressional lowlifes his photographs of the youngsters he "dates" and they all share the laughs and slap him on the back. "You da man, Matty! You da man!" In case you were still wondering why Gaetz is still a Member of Congress and hasn't been given the boot, it's painfully obvious. In Congress, Gaetz's activities are considered credentials. The things said about him just aren't considered appalling enough for him to be kicked out of the nation's biggest and most disgusting fraternity house. He's not the only one who does what he is accused of. He's probably not even in the minority. If he was, he'd be gone. Instead, he's one of Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy's number ones. Maybe Gaetz and McCarthy will be double dating this year. Triple dating if the school lets Clarence Thomas bring his ewe.
We can joke all we want about Matt Gaetz in a whistling past the graveyard kind of way but in Washington, the horrific is permissible at the least, and in Washington they always protect their own. Next year, it'll be a $enator caught in Rock Creek Park with a van that has no door handles on the inside.