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Between Two Galaxies

Captagon... And On

-by Nigel Best

This is an exercise about gravity that involves drugs, tyranny, courtrooms, a cow, a ram, a spacecraft, and the stealing of an election (and everything else).

Without doubt, it’s a tale that demands a certain degree of incredulity.

The story begins with Voyager 1, a space probe that launched in 1977. At almost 15 billion miles from Earth, Voyager 1 is considered to be in the interstellar of the Milky Way. Not bad for a piece of technology that operates on less power than a cheap cell phone.

Over the almost 50 years of space travel, the probe has sent back to Earth a fair share of photos and information. It has informed ideas about the possibility of life on the outer planets, and that a suspected hidden planet on the outskirts of our galaxy doesn’t exist.

Along with the recent discovery of strange anomalies on the moon, doors on Mars, and Voyager’s information, there’s now a theory-- Noah’s Ark Theory-- that life has been skipping from planet to planet.

As one planet eventually moved further away from the sun, life forms moved to the more hospitable planet taking its place; Uranus to Saturn. Saturn to Mars. Mars to Earth.

What remains a mystery is how water was shipped from one planet to the next so that life could continue.

As to the probe, there’s now a bit of a problem with Voyager 1, and the new theory. The probe has started sending out very weird messages. Wobbly, strange stuff. Weird enough to have been given the tagline, fake news from beyond our solar system.

So wobbly is the information, it has called into question a lot of the information garnered over the years, including the Noah’s Ark theory that life jumped from planet to planet.

This story now comes crashing back to Earth, a planet that sure looks like it is being sucked into a black hole of misinformation.

For example, wobbly, strange stuff has apparently been sighted all over the USA. The military suggests it is aliens. Well, anyone who has paid attention over the past number of years would be reminded of all those newspaper stories lining the cash out aisles at the local supermarkets. How come the Yanks have the bulk of the alien visitations? It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to assume that the rise in UFO sightings coincided with the rise of hallucinogenic drugs.

Which brings this tale to a significant uptick in the use of Captagon, a stimulant drug that had found its place originally as a battlefield drug by militaries. In small doses in public water systems, the drug can produce hallucinations similar to those experienced by LSD users.

Captagon has more sinister properties, though, In larger doses, the drug produces uncontrollable desires to kill and mutilate. In larger doses, soldiers on battlefields under the drug’s toxic influence have been seen to rip limbs and heads from victims. With large doses, soldiers have ripped out their own eyeballs, or chopped off their own arms and legs. In extreme cases, some soldiers have raped and mutilated livestock.

The battlefield atrocities go well beyond even those listed here.

Being that the yin-and-yang stamped pills are now becoming a recreational drug, it’s not that difficult to imagine the resulting consequences once introduced to the already jumbled brains of those on the edge of their own dying sun being eaten by a black hole.

Back up to livestock, though. To a cow and a ram that have both been arrested for killing people. Putting aside that the cow is currently being held in a police station prison cell awaiting trial, the ram was recently sentenced by a court to three years at a military camp for its murder of a 45-year-old woman. Once its sentence is complete, the ram will then become the ward of the family whose member was killed.

So, is Captagon to blame? Or is the planet outside of itself, just baying for blood? How to explain that from the darkness at the edge of the universe came carbon?

That single element has formed Plato and Mazzini, Saint-Simon and Marx, Rousseau and Guevara, Sun Yat-Sen and Foucault. Now that carbon is playing a role in the jailing and sentencing of livestock.

Speaking of livestock, it was truly fascinating to watch England’s royals on display over the past few weeks. First there was Charles, future king of the commoners, speaking at the opening of parliament. As he spoke about his British subjects, specifically those on low incomes, it was hard not to notice the jewel-encrusted gold chair he was sitting on.

Citing the need for England to “help ease the cost of living for families,” his arm sat next to a jewel-encrusted crown on a velvet pillow. The crown had been delivered to the parliament buildings in its own vehicle.

Then, to hammer home the disconnect between what is said and by whom it is uttered, the royals had numerous days of parties for the sovereign’s 70 years as Queen.

Horses, parades, fine wines, champagne, a golden carriage, expensive hats, gowns and suits.

And cake.

A few of the upper crust living it up whilst most citizens are deciding whether to spend their last few pennies on food or clothing for their children has not exactly played out well for monarchies over the years.

This would account for the loud voices baying for blood as the royals were trotted out onto the balcony of Buckingham Palace to wave at the adoring grannies.

In a country that has had its fair share of blood and beheadings over the centuries, it’s surprising that the UK’s prime minister, Boris Johnson, hasn’t had his head severed from his shoulders and the offending skull and ridiculous hair hanged from Tower Bridge.

Another of those enjoying the delights of the well-to-do, Johnson is so far removed from reality that he partied his arse off with staff during the Covid mandated lockdowns that had the British public locked inside their homes.

Johnson was slapped with a fine from the police, and refused to apologize for his actions. Then, amazingly, he survived a no-confidence vote from his own political party; a vote that had stemmed from his actions.

This is how you steal. Whether the public purse or an election. Economically or militarily. Misinformed or uneducated. The ruse continues. Who cares how you do it, steal everything.

You know, for what it’s worth, there’s no sex on the outer reaches of the Milky Way, which is another story.

Also, there’s very little gravity, either.

Thus, Voyager One, wobbly as it may be, isn’t shackled to this planet anymore. That may be the only way to break free of the pull of all this tyranny.

Bon voyage.


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