• Noah

Part 16, A Journal Of A Plague Year:The Lunacy For Which Republicans Stand--Rick Scott, "Best Words"

-by Noah $enator Rick Scott, The Pride Of Flor-i-duh! I know there's a lot of competition among the 50 states. I know places like Texas try, but, to my mind, Flor-i-duh is the true unwiped butthole of the nation. People don't compile headlines under the heading Massachusetts Man, Iowa Man, North Dakota Man, or even Oklahoma Man now, do they? But Flor-i-da Man? Books are being compiled of such things! Google 'Florida Man' and whole websites will appear magically on your computer screen! 'Tis a wonder! Flor-i-duh is the south of the South. Flor-i-duh is the template for Mike Judge's "Idiocracy." Its biggest city is drowning in water even on sunny days. It's capital city thinks it's the capital of the Confederacy. I've been to places in Flor-i-duh where the drinking water smells and tastes like sulphur. In some places (Ocala), it will even burn your skin. Flor-i-duh is rife with theme parks where dumbasses rappel down fake mountains along its highways filled with speeding 95-year-old drivers. Slicing manatees with motorboats is a top sport. It's backyards are being infested by an ever-growing population of 18 to 20 foot Burmese Pythons, and that may end up being the state's best bet at salvation. The place wasn't bad enough with its flocks of mosquitos bearing Dengue Fever; the idiots that live there just had to import an apex predator from Asia. Move over 15 foot alligators and half foot flying cockroaches! Flor-i-duh's 'top' politicians even did everything they could to lead the nation in spreading the number of cases of COVID-19 per capita to new heights! Well done! How do such things happen? Easy. The people of Flor-i-duh vote for it! Idiocracy at work. That doesn't mean that Flor-iduh is the only Idiocracy of these here United States but it sure does take pride in being at the top! They try harder! And they proved it by electing convict Rick Scott twice for their Governor and now for their $enator. Think of that. The state that's full of whole cities of retirees voted for a guy who was convicted of Medicare Fraud and Pharma schemes that brought him $300,000,000. His company garnered a stupendous 14 felony fraud convictions and Flori-duh said, "That's our guy!" I guess they wanted to prove that they could go even lower than John Ellis "Jeb" Bush Yeah, they're so dumb ol' John Bush fooled them into thinking he was a good ol' cracker boy by renaming himself "Jeb."

Here's good ol' Rick Scott complaining early this year about other states in reference to what his fellow scumbag Moscow Mitch calls "Blue state bailouts." -

It's not fair to the taxpayers in Florida. We sit here and live within our means, and then, New York, Califorrnia, and other states don't and we're supposed to go bail them out. That's not right.

Yeah, sure, Rick. This from a sleazy convict type who scammed $300,000,000. Of course things like that don't bother Floridians at all. In fact, it seems to be a plus and a job qualification to them. Why else would they keep voting for such a man. This is Flor-i-duh logic. You can just see that if Jeffrey Epstein had run for governor or $enator, the citizens of Flor-i-duh would have elected him in a heartbeat and rationalized it by saying, "Hey, at least I'll know where my daughter is every night." The truth is, Flor-i-duh does not live within its means. Flor-i-duh, like all southern states, always has its hands out. They put less money into the U.S. Treasury through taxes than they take out. The states Rick Scott is whining about, New York, California, and many others, put more in than they ever take. In other words, New York, a blue state, makes a habit of bailing out Scott's state every time a Category 3 hurricane makes landfall there. My New York tax money goes to a hellhole like Flor-i-duh. And yet, Scott balked bigly when it was suggested that New York needed financial help to offset the costs of what COVID-19 was doing to it this past spring. Suppose, the next time a major hurricane hits Flor-i-duh, we all just tell them to live within their means since he thinks they're so good at that. Don't even ask, Rick. In fact, give some of that $300,000,000 you scammed back to your state. Let's not forget current Flor-i-duh Governor Rick di Satan in all of this. He, along with $en. Scott is a big pal of the Trumpanzee. They're both big on the COVID is a hoax front and, for all we know have done things he might pardon them for. They used to have carnival rows at state fairs and circuses in the state, complete with geeks that look like Huckabees biting the heads off of chickens and combining their hair with the bones. Now, they just elect those freaks for high office.