by Noah
Dateline Washington:
The office of $enator Rafael "Ted" Cruz has proudly submitted the photo above to RNC Chairwoman Ronna Romney McDaniel as their lead entry in the party's new Icon photo series of Top Republicans! Upon opening the envelope that contained the photo McDaniel gasped and then, as tears of joy filled her eyes, offered -
This photo truly captures the essence of our modern day Republican Party. It positively oozes the character we look for and cherish! I had thought the photo we had received from Susan Collins would have to be the winner but this... This is so very special! We may even have to do a limited scratch and sniff numbered edition as a gift for our donors who contribute more than $500,000,000! Truly "Ted" is not only the pride of Texas but of our party!
And, McDaniel is so correct. Every party needs a mascot! The Cruz photo literally reflects the toxic slime of the man and therefore his party.