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  • Writer's pictureNoah

Midnight Meme Of The Day! Mike Lindell Loses His Phone Privileges

by Noah I like to program my dreams. As I'm falling asleep, I just concentrate on who or what I want to dream about and let nature take its course. In tonight's dream, I dream of a wonderful pillow fight, a pillow fight on a massive scale; no holds barred, a beat down for the ages! I'd love to lead a merry little band of 100 men and women armed with pillows chasing a panic-stricken Mike Lindell all over that Hardee's parking lot where the FBI seized his phone. I'd love to do it for real, but, as Nixon said, "That would be wrong." And so I dream. Some dreams do come true, you know. Maybe in your dream, a few of those pillows contain a rock or two. The FBI has been assembling quite a collection of smartphones and now they've seized one from one hell of a dumbo crackhead. Who knew Hardee's was the choice of crackheads? I always thought they hung out at Chick-fil-A or Chipotle. Hey, I used to know a 7-Eleven in LA with a parking lot full of them. Then a bunch of Nicaraguans cleared them out. At this point, I have to say that, when and if this on-going Nazi coup attempt is ever all over to moral and righteous satisfaction, I would like to be hired to put together "The National Museum Of The Attempted 1/6 Coup." I will have a "Phones Of The Traitors" gallery. Each phone will be displayed in an iron frame, bars included, on the wall with an explanation of what particular crimes the former owner of the phone was rightfully accused of. There will also be buttons available that you can push to hear things these traitorous crooks and loons said or view film footage of the perps in action. Those who coddled, dragged their feet, or made excuses for the treason mob will not go unmentioned. Meanwhile, I have a very extensive list of additional suspects whose phones should be collected and should have been collected as long ago as the night of 1/6. It starts with the phones of Clarence and Ginni Thomas, Gym Jordan, Kremlin Kevin McCarthy, Moscow Mitch McConnell and Louie Gohmert. Let's not forget the billionaire funders of this crap either, you know, people like Rupert Murdoch and Peter Thiel. I'm going to need a very, very big room for the gallery. I'll have it next to "The Gallows Room."


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