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  • Writer's pictureNoah

Midnight Meme Of The Day! Madison Cawthorn, Candidate For Testicle Tanning!

by Noah Well, what have we here! What's the pride of North Carolina up to? This is a fine addition to young Madison Cawthorn's resume! It's so hard to get my brain around these photos after hearing Rep. Cawthorn directing so much hate at our trans citizens, yet these photos have been making the rounds. Could he be a huge hypocrite? Nooooo! Please say it ain't so! What's it all mean? Has he been spending too much time down at Disney World? Is he seeking the attentions of Judge Roy Moore, the man every Republican on Earth wanted as the junior $enator from Alabama? Or Matt Gaetz? Nah! Madison's just too damn old for Moore and/or Gaetz and they might see through his disguise before things got too hot. Lindsay Graham, perhaps? Coulda been J.Edgar "Mary" Hoover but "The Hoover Man" is dead, so, that's out, probably. How about Moscow Mitchy? Mitchy looks pasty enough to be dead so that might work, if Maddy's into that. You never know with these republican people. No wonder all those crackpot whiners at FOX "News" are so freaked out about the masculinity of American males these days! I bet ol' certifiably deranged closet boy Tucker has already sent Madison a tanning machine for his testicles. Maybe it's something they can do together! A bonding exercise! Seriously though, I suspect that what we see here may be just how Madison Cawthorn dresses up when he serves as some sort of mascot for all those coke-fueled congressional Republican orgies he talks about. I can see it now! He's some sort of cheerleader-director of the goings on. Are there tapes of this, too? Film at 11? Lordy, I hope so!



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