As you've no doubt heard, Rupert Murdoch has announced that his FOX "News" Corpse will be starting up a Weather Channel. Folks, the era "All Fake Weather! All The Time!" has arrived! You can bet that, right now, the Murdochs have got their A-Team brainstorming on new ways to make reporting on the weather extra scary, complete with Terror Weather Indexes, African-American Riot Weather Indexes, Muslim Weather Control, and conspiracies about China causing F5 "Tornadoes Of Doom!"
I can see it now. Remember when the temperature in that little Canadian town of Lytton, British Columbia hit 121 degrees two weeks ago? The temperature got so hot that the town literally burst into flames as the whole area burned to the ground. Imagine the FOX "weather" coverage next time something like that happens! They'll start out with a "panel of experts" mouthing off their habitual "client change is a hoax" mantras and then quickly accuse ANTIFA as having caused the fire, led by Stacy Abrams and Obama, of course.
There'll be the usual assortment of blonde FOX bimbos and Ken Dolls, all drawing made up storm paths on maps with cartoonishly extra large sharpies. I bet they'll brag about getting their meteorological degrees from the defunct Trump University. Too bad they can't have Ted Knight, the guy who played TV anchorman Ted Baxter on the Mary Tyler Moore Show. He would've been a natural as a FOX weatherman, not to worry, though, Trump needs a job and he's the next best thing and he has great words.
Matt Gaetz will do a playground weather forecast from a different school in a different town every day. They'll name destructive storms after prominent democrats and civil right workers, past and present, starting with AOC. Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity will do daily reports on the weather in Antarctica because, well, it's "the whitest place on Earth!" Sooner or later, though, FOX Weather viewers will start speculating that Antarctica is a secret branch of Antifa, 'cause, well, isn't it obvious! Expect Marjorie Traitor Greene's,"Daily Georgia Moonshine Reports," too! That might explain a lot.
But, who gets to be the guy who always gets sent to the beach when the hurricanes are coming? May I suggest Louie Gohmert? It'll be tons of fun watching the wind flapping his ears. He might even take off ala Dumbo! I'd watch that!