top of page
  • Writer's pictureNoah

Midnight Meme Of The Day! Aileen Cannon Is The Lauren Boebert Of Judges

by Noah

A chain is only as strong as its dumbest voters, and, well, here we are.

Imagine yourself living in a Twilight Zone world where you could wake up one morning, go out and shoot somebody on Fifth Avenue or sell state secrets including nuclear weapons technology and the names and locations of our top agents and spies and then appoint your own judge to rule on your case.

Appoint your own judge? Live in a world where you even get to write your judge's rulings pertaining to your case? Extreme partisan hackery justice? What a country! A country where judicial oaths are written on the cheapest motel toilet paper and left out in a monsoon.

The party that decries activist judges has given us judges who sound like they failed some sort of law school GED three times, got the gig anyway, and now get to make up rulings out of thin air and, there are no judge cops with the power or will to stop them. If you're allowed to pick your own judge, you are above the law by default. That's what psychopathic Traitor Don, with the aid of his man servant/personal fixer, Moscow Mitch McConnell, has done. If you give a nazi loophole or advantage, they'll drive a line of tanks through it every time. Somewhere in Hell, Spiro Agnew is ruefully laughing about being born 60 years too soon.

Hey, I'm a few decades too old but does all this mean I can still finally get my dream job of playing center field for the New York Yankees? Maybe, I should buy the team and appoint myself. The way things are going, sooner or later some sports franchise owner is going to do just that and half the fans will cheer him (or her) for doing it while the other half still watches the games and buys all the merch out of blind habit.

Here's another swell idea: Put me in charge of inventing warp drive and a practical means of navigating through wormholes. Consider it done! Just let me call my assistant Sarah Palin!

Happy Monday, folks. Welcome to the next to last episode of "The Self-Destruction Of Democracy," America's #1 show. You're drowning in it whether you admit it or not.

bottom of page