by Noah
Sunday Thoughts
It's almost Halloween! Wanna scare the bejesus out of some unruly employee? Tell them you're moving the company to Texas! Works on kids, too. In fact, you could probably hook up a speaker for any trick or treaters and when they ring your doorbell, it says "Welcome to Texas!!! I mean can you believe people actually live there? Ted Cruz, Greg Abbott, Dan Patrick and that insane Nazi state legislature? That's just the beginning! Hurricane floods, Joel Osteen megamaga churches, snake handler churches, evangelist nutters on every corner, the entirely tacky theme park city of Dallas, not to mention Dallas Cowboys wackjob owner Jerry Jones and the world's ugliest stadium that looks like a pinball machine gone horribly wrong. Dallas Airport? Say no more! Average summer temps over 100 degrees, a house of cards electrical grid, horseshit of every kind always coming at you from all directions! They even hold beer soaked Trump boat parades on the reservoirs!! You know what that means! And Texans actually drink that water!!! Yeah, human beings actually live there!!! Don't forget that more than half of them say they want to secede. Who's stoppin' ya, boneheads?