by Noah
Sunday Thoughts:
Trump knows the best people!!! Jason Miller, ladies and gentlemen! Pastor Jason Miller!!! Top notch evangelist! CEO of conservative social media platform Gettr and former Trump Senior Campaign Manager! Plus, former jobs with Rudy Giuliani, Fled Cruz, and Steve Bannon! Class all the way! Republican class! And such a good, God-fearing Christian man! As so many of them are!
Yeah, well, as the meme above says, he got both a stripper and a co-worker preggers. No word who else he was banging in Jesus' name. Trump White House staffers? Which ones? A blessed trinity 3-way with Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Stephen Miller? Maybe Trump himself? Kayleigh McEnany and Stormy Daniels? Was the stripper a performing part of the church service? No need for a collection plate! Just tuck a twenty in the garter! All part of the Evangelical outreach program! And abortion pills as holy sacrements, too! Holier than thou!
It gets better. After his stint as Trump campaign manager, Trump named him his Communications Director. He lasted less than a week when it was revealed he'd gotten that previously mentioned co-worker pregnant. The stripper? Well, after Miller was booted out of the White House, the idiots at FOX-lite CNN liked what they saw and gave him a job as an on-air contributor. They couldn't wait to get one of Trump's "best people." Then it came out that he'd been accused of spiking a drink of his pregnant stripper girlfriend with an abortion pill. So much for being a pro-life pastor and so much for that job at CNN. Don't fret for the guy, though. NEWSMAX stepped in and gave him a job. No word yet as to how many NEWSMAX staffers have been receiving his special blessings but stay tuned!