by Noah
I've never been in favor of the "Everybody gets a trophy" mentality. It seems to me that it's better to grow up knowing that you're not going to win them all and that just showing up or participating doesn't entitle you to a nice big shiny trophy. It's better, despite the disappointments, to grow up with a more mature attitude towards winning and losing and a having firmer grip on reality. I mean where would this sort of thing stop in the fetid world of politics? Should some clown like "Jeb" Bush or Marco Rubio get a ribbon for 15th or 17th place in the 2016 Republican Party primary? Should Tom Steyer have received a 10th Place Leg Lamp Award just for participating in the 2020 Democratic Party primary? No way! He has all those billions of dollars. That should be enough. Run along now guys. Try again next time, or, better yet, be a good sport and let someone better play.
But, of course, Little Donnie Trumpanzee had the entitlement bug so bad he thought he should win even though he had fewer electoral college votes, not to mention 7,000,000+ fewer popular votes. He thought he deserved a trophy even when it became so obvious that he'd lost, the big one. Well, he didn't get the big one but I'm sure he wanted a trophy anyway. It certainly looks like his fans were willing to do anything to keep him from leaving the field in tears, even commit murder. Hence the participation trophy, I presume. I guess some now disgruntled white supremacy group felt the urge to splurge some bitcoin on the trophy shown above. No doubt they thought it would look nice next to his fake magazine covers that feature his non-existent re-election and fashion mag covers that feature his fake wife. Maybe Barron did it.
Alas, after a long delay, the 2020 Presidential Election Participation Trophy awarded to former alleged President Donald Two Times, has finally arrived at Mar-a-lago, Flor-i-duh via the U.S. Postal Service. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your political viewpoint, Little Donnie's trophy arrived at his Mar-a-lago Massage Parlor & Golf Emporium in a state of sad disrepair, as cracked as the mind of the former "president" himself. The disrepair also, not coincidentally, matches the state of disrepair of all of Trump's marriages and the state in which Trump left the country.
If you were to ask me, I would chalk it all up to some sort of display of karmic justice; either that or, in a huge display of irony, Little Donnie's trophy became a victim of the forces Donnie himself set in motion when he appointed Louis DeJoy as head of the Postal Service when he wanted to destroy its ability to deliver election ballots and everything else in a safe and timely manner. Too bad, Donnie, your trophy fell victim to the very forces you unleashed. Tough shit, Donnie! You little loser worm!!!! Why don't you call up your old friend Stormy Daniels and have her beat your naked cellulite farm with one of your rolled up fake magazines again. Or, maybe you could have one of your $enators do it. They'd do it for a lot less that $130,000. They come cheap.