After I couldn’t stand one more moment watching CBS Records butcher the bands on my label, 415 Records, I took a job as general manager of Sire Records, a Warner Bros subsidiary. At CBS I learned a lot: mostly what to never do to an artist. Warners was the opposite— an artist-friendly company (also employee-friendly and customer-friendly; CBS was neither). When I first got to Sire, the label president, Seymour Stein, called a meeting to divide up responsibilities for the roster. After an hour or two of going around and around with all the employees, he made a decision. He would take personal responsibility for Madonna and The Cult and I would be responsible for everyone else. I gasped. Then he changed his mind. He would be responsible for Madonna; I would be responsible for everyone else.
I wasn’t a fan of Madonna’s music. In fact, when I was a dj at KUSF I had a promo for my show advertising it as a place you would never have worry about hearing Madonna. Early in my tenure at Sire, Seymour insisted I fly to New York to meet her. I didn’t want to and I was extremely busy in Burbank but he offered me $200 if I came, so I said OK. He never gave me the $200, but the trip was much more valuable.
She had sold out 2 nights at Madison Square Garden and Seymour dragged me backstage to meet her. I had always dreamed that one of "my" bands would play Madison Square Garden. Being a New Yorker, it was the ultimate for me. Backstage, Madonna was about as interested in me as I was in her, but something happened that shocked me. There was no press, no p.r. agents, just Madonna and a small handful of her people and me and Seymour. And some guy from an AIDS organization. It was still early in the AIDS story. I didn't know for sure what it was except that it was being portrayed by the media as something shameful that was killing gay people. Madonna gave the guy her paycheck from that night's show, a million dollars. It never made it to the newspapers. It was just something she could afford to do and something she wanted to do. It blew my mind.
I started listening to her music, something I had never done before. I found songs I liked. I even suggested that one of the cutting-edge German industrial bands I was working with, Bi-God 20, cover "Like A Prayer" (above). Later, I encouraged John Wesley Harding to do the same song and it wound up as the b-side of a Christmas EP he put out. What a great tune! And whenever I appealed to the artists on our roster to help out with a song for a charity record, Madonna was usually first or one of the first to say OK. Of course Seymour still was the guy who coordinated all things Madonna and my involvement in her career was, at best, minimal. Generously, when Madonna's records went gold and platinum and multi-platinum, they included me on the list of people who were given award plaques. Other than that I had next to no role in her career other than as a newly converted cheerleader.
So wasn’t I surprised when someone I didn’t know sent me a request for verification of a certificate of authenticity for a piece of Madonna memorabilia! The eBay seller used my name... and everything about it was fake— a real scam. I’m glad the guy got in touch with me. Here’s the conversation:
Later he said, in jest, he’d next try to “hunt down the gold tooth cap.” The so-called "fingernail" looks like it is likely to sell for $20,000 so this is real money we're talking about here.
Since I can’t trust my own memory— as we already saw— I asked some of my old pals at Warner Bros who I figured might know more about this than I do. One, a total expert in this kind of thing, and the general manager of Warner Bros at the time, said “Looks suspect to me. The fact that you don't remember it, the fact that it looks bogus, the fact that the person has only two feedbacks for cheap things all suggest stay away!” Another guy, a Warners radio promotion guy then, got back to me and said "I don't remember anything like this... you having it or not." Then I spoke to the guy who was the senior vice president who oversaw the making of all promo items. He had a simple answer: "I know nothing about this and certainly don't remember using acrylic nails to promote her album." And finally I spoke to Warner's in-house Madonna expert, the person who knew more about Madonna-- and cared more about Madonna-- than anyone else. "I've never heard of this," he said. "The only big collector item that came out in conjunction with the album was the one and only pressing of her Sex book. I don’t recall any promo acrylic fingernail. I could be wrong but doubtful." If Jeff, Jimmy, Jim and Craig don't remember it... some enterprising scam artist probably made this thing in their garage... a very eBay thing.