by Noah
Back in April, I wrote a Midnight Meme post titled "Take 'Hunter Biden's Laptop' And Shove It Up Your Ass." It was a kind of open letter to Republicans everywhere. You can see it below. It's about the insanity surrounding "Hunter Biden's Laptop" but that was before we knew about Trump purloining Top Secret documents and doing who knows what with them, Ginni Thomas's emails, or so many of the gory details about the Republican Party and its leaders planning to overthrow the government with a violent coup. Now, with the Nazis in charge of the so-called House of Representatives, we will have a committee led by Gym Jordan trying to drum up a frenzy over "Hunter Biden's Laptop." I feel that, in light of the coming frenzy, it's worth posting again. Be there. Will be wild!
I find it's impossible to have a rational discussion about anything with any Republican these days without them interjecting the phrase "Hunter Biden's Laptop." It's the new "But Her Emails." Did President Biden's son make a hundred thousand here or there while his father was the VP? I'm sure we will find out, but, if he did, how would that make him any different than any member of any member of Congress whose wife, son, daughter, brother, sister, mother-sister, or grandma who gained entry to a cash-making enterprise because of their surname? And, don't even get me started on how members of Congress like $enator Richard Burr all seem to use advance knowledge to fatten their stock portfolios. This, of course, after they've sought out and accepted multiple nice big checks from the K Street Bribery Squads on a weekly if not daily basis. Former Speaker John Boehner used to get drunk and hand them out before crucial votes. And none of these chronic hypocrites and slobbering goons of whatever party you care to mention are ever going to write any legislation with teeth that puts a halt to these standard Washington practices, are they! Hell, why do you really think most of them want the job in the first place? I'd like to see every one of their laptops. Smart phones, too. While we're at it, how about the laptops of Tucker Carlson, et al. at FOX. Let ye who is without sin...
But back to my pointless attempts at rational discussion with Republicans. As soon as they interrupt and try to end our conversation by saying the supposed magic words "Hunter Biden's Laptop," I bring up Jared Kushner's no strings attached "donation" of $2 BILLION from his Saudi Arabian bonesaw buddies. Every single time, they pretend to have never heard about it. Every. Single. Time. It's a great and simple test of honor that will instantly show me the character of the person I'm speaking with. I don't even bother to bring up the millions that Kushner's friends in the land Republicans call Chy-nnna gave him. I don't bring up Ivanka's E-Z Patent Deals with Chy-nnna either, nor do I mention her own non-secure email problems or her father's use of wide open cell phones and inviting Russians to the oval office to hand over the contents of Top Secret Israeli intelligence files. Ditto for the millions in laundered rubles that go to the aptly named Moscow Mitch to make sure that his $enate Republican minions stay bought and paid for by their master in the Kremlin. Why would I bring up any of it once they've already shown me what they are? And, in case you were wondering if any of this surprises me, the answer is no. How could it? Hell, they all knew about the Diaper Don's relationship with Putin in 2016 and said "That's our guy, me likey Big Gooey Orange Puppet Man!" as they entered the polling place. They even did it twice, 70+ million of them.
So anyway, yeah, I wanna know what's on Traitor Don Trump's laptop. Same with so many others, especially the 147 members of Congress who were part of the conspiracy to overthrow the will of the people and the government itself on 1/6/21.
